Operation #HeXmas

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Recently, Prismatic Wasteland got the blog bandwagon (snow)ball rolling for #Hexmas with this post. The TL;DR of it is participating bloggers design the content of a single TTRPG hex themed around Rankin/Bass Xmas specials and then patchwork them all together. I was down with the premise so I figured I’d give it a shot as my first official blogwagon. I watched several Rankin/Bass Xmas specials and found most inspiration in Jack Frost.

Naturally for me it was difficult to pin my ideas down to just a single hex as some of them seemed to work best across multiple but that went against the spirit of a communal hexmap. Plus I ran out of time and had to leave my other ideas on the cutting room floor so to speak.

So I ended up compromising: The following entries can either be used as smaller locations within a larger hex, or a series of individual hexes connected together. This ⬣ symbol is used to denote a point of interest in either case. If the overall hex needs a reference title, let’s use its primary feature: Miserable Mountain.

Adjacent Hexes
North: Coal Mountain
Northeast: Poison Swamp
Southeast: Conifer Mountain
South: Polar Pines
Southwest: TBD
Northwest: TBD

I tried to keep things system-neutral, but do use Old School Essentials as a lingua franca. Additionally, I tried my best to adhere to grouping information by Landmark, Hidden, or Secret via indented lists for aid of reference.

Without further ado:

⬣ Miserable Mountain

The primary feature of this hex is the eponymous craggy mount of packed ice and snow which is notoriously difficult to climb without the proper equipment (ice picks, crampons, etc.) even during the most agreeable weather. (If the PCs lack such equipment, roll any climb checks twice, keeping the worst result). Perched upon the peak is ■ Kubla Kastle, the abode Kubla Kraus.

  • Piled along its South-facing base, are the broken and rusted remains of Kubla’s previous army of Keh-Nights.
  • At the base of the Southeastern side of the mountain, a creek issues from a natural grotto, where numerous tracks of heavy circular prints converge.
    • Inside the grotto is the Secret Entrance to ■ Kubla Kastle

Nearby Points of Interest
Southeast: ⬣ Chilly Creek
South: ⬣ Pumpkin Patches
Southwest: ⬣ January Junction

Kubla Kraus

(use Ogre stats – armed with a sword)

Kubla Kraus is a greedy, narcissistic robber-baron whose right hand was replaced with an iron prosthesis (which functions as a single Gauntlet of Ogre Power) after having it bitten off by an abominal snow monster (which for obvious reasons now he’s terrified of).

Kubla dresses in a pink silk shirt, a chainmail haubergeon, a silver sash about his weight, loose-fitting green trousers, and a pair of brown worn leather boots. A woollen red papakha hat adorns his head, and his thick hair and huge beard are coal black along with his cape. He speaks in a booming voice with an accent reminiscent of Boris Badinov. Despite being bested previously by Jack Frost (with help of Father Winter) he has since returned to lord over the nearby lands from his decrepit castle atop ⬣ Miserable Mountain.

The first Encounter rolled in any of the locations near ⬣ Miserable Mountain will always result Kubla Kraus, astride his iron steed, Klangstomper. He will attempt to extort “taxes” from any PCs he encounters (he can literally smell any amount of wealth, down to the smallest Kaputnik, which is worth 1/100th of a silver penny) but will flee to the safety of his castle if met with serious resistance. The “taxes” he collects from the locals are used to fund the reconstruction of his army of automatous Keh-Nights back to their former strength of a thousand fold.

Since nobody tolerates Kubla Kraus’ presence, he constructed his own servants:

Klangstomper – Steampowered iron steed, ridden by Kubla Kraus outside ■ Kubla Kastle. Equipped with a grappling extension which is strong enough to grab and lift a single nearby target off the ground and bring it adjacent to it, granting the mounted Kubla a free action against it (Save to Avoid). If encountered on its own, roll Reaction. (Use Warhorse Stats with additional Grab attack)

Fetch-Kvetch – Clockwork Butler. Tends to Kubla’s many, often childish needs. Will alert Kubla or Keh-Nights to any intruders but may assist ‘guests’. (Use unarmed Skeleton stats) 

Keh-Nights – Automatons in grimy plate armour, lifeless with motorized hearts, wielding two-handed axes. Once a thousand strong, now reduced to merely a score. If their current number ever drops below 20, Kubla will spend a full day in the Workshop replenishing their ranks by 1d4. (Use Skeleton stats equipped with Polearms)

Knute, Knick, Knorman, and Knathan are the elite ‘Kapitans’ of the Keh-Nights, armed with two-handed swords. Will attempt to capture any PCs encountered, lock them up in chains, and throw them in the Dungeon, which they each have a keyring to. FYI It takes Kubla a whole week to build a replacement Kapitan. (Use Iron Living Statue stats)

Dommy, a metallic ventriloquist dummy, complete with red woollen papakha hat. Kubla Kraus will often operate and interact with Dommy, or use Dommy to interact with the PCs. Dommy tends to reflect Kubla’s more reasonable side, to which a quickly irritated Kubla is often wont to roughly discard the dummy. Clever PCs may be able to use Dommy to manipulate Kubla or his other servants. (If required, use Sprite Stats)

■ Kubla Kastle 

A snow-covered fortress a top ⬣ Miserable Mountain with towers topped with onion-shaped domes, surrounded by partially collapsed battlements. A long passageway up from the Secret Entrance below connects to the Courtyard.

Kastle Encounter Table (d6)

  1. Kubla Kraus – Doing whatever is most appropriate given the location.
  2. Fetch- Kvetch – Poorly cleaning or dusting. Roll Reaction. 
  3. Kapitan Knute, Knick, Knorman, or Knathan (1d4) – Patrolling with (4) regular Keh-Nights.
  4. Klangstomper – Wandering. Roll Reaction.
  5. Windup Mice – Scurrying about, posing no real threat to the PCs.
  6. Dommy – Carelessly discarded by Kubla. Whether Dommy interacts with the PCs without his owner being present is up to the GM.

1. Courtyard – A large flagstone-covered ward, enclosed by battlements, many of which are crumbling or collapsed, exposing the slippery slopes of ⬣ Miserable Mountain. A pair of large wooden doors lead inside the Keep to the Great Hall. A Balcony from the Keep overlooks part of the Courtyard.

There is always at least two patrols of Keh-Nights present each led by a Kapitan, marching in formation about the courtyard. Their marching pattern can quickly be ascertained and with careful timing they for the most part can easily be avoided, unless on high alert.

Other notable areas include:

  • 2. Battlements – Parapets like broken teeth. Slippery from ice build up.
  • 3. Stables – Old unused horse tack. Trough filled with coal. Klangstomper will be encountered here if not encountered elsewhere, fuelling its boiler with coal from the trough.
  • 4. Workshop – A workbench fitted with various tools. Mismatched components of grimy, dented plate armour and rusty weapons along with various cogs, gears, springs, oversized windup keys, etc. in various cluttered piles.
    • Windup Mice have made a nest amidst the junk and if disturbed will cause quite the cacophony scurrying around, knocking over piles, calling for an Encounter Roll. 

5. Keep – Dusty cobwebs and drab masonry. Much of the keep has fallen to ruin and is largely inaccessible. These are areas the PCs can get to:

  • 6. Great Hall – A pair of large wooden doors open onto the Courtyard. A worn red carpet stretches from the doors to a spiral staircase which leads up to the Throne Room. Portraits depicting Kubla Kraus as a pharaoh, a rajah, and a shogun line one side of the hall, with the opposite containing the entryways to the Dining Hall and a spiral staircase down to the Dungeon.
  • 7. Dungeon – A staircase leads up to the Great Hall. Unsurprisingly dank. Occupant: Sir Ravenal Rightfellow, the golden knight (use Noble stats), chained to the wall with a broken arm. When Kubla Kraus returned from his initial defeat, the gallant Sir Ravenal took it upon himself to end his reign once and for all, but was captured in doing so. Now he only desires to be reunited with his wife, Elisa, in the town of ⬣ January Junction.
    • His golden plate armour (mundane, double value), along with his Shining Sword (magical +1, Light) and a crossbow (mundane) with d12 bolts, are outside his cell in a chest (locked and trapped with a poison needle).
      • Kubla and each of his Kapitan’s carries a keyring to the cell, chains, and chest. A spare keyring can also be found in the wardrobe in his Bedroom.
  • 8. Dining Hall – A long dining table set for a single occupant rests in the centre of this chamber, the floor surrounding it covered in discarded dishware. A bowl of cold noodles sits on the table along with a pair lit brass candle holders. An entrance to the side leads to the Kitchen.
  • 9. Kitchen – A large cauldron set atop a bed of glowing coals is steaming with boiling water. Numerous crates containing dried noodles.
    • Fetch-Kvetch will be encountered here if not encountered elsewhere, preparing noodles.
  • 10. Throne Room – A long worn red carpet leads across this chamber and up a several steps to a raised dais on which a dingy purple throne sits flanked by two stone pillars to either side. Between each pair of pillars are lavender-coloured curtains, currently drawn shut. The floor in the centre of the room is dusted with snow from the poorly patched hole in the roof. A set of double doors appears to open onto a Balcony. At the near left corner of room stands a grandfather clock.
    • Clock: Inoperative, its gears removed. Leaning inside its long case is a sword (magic, cursed -1).
    • Obscured behind the right-side curtains is a wooden chest (Locked but not trapped. Contains coins of various denominations: 2d1000 kaputniks (see above), 2d20 cp, 2d12 sp, and 2d4 gp.)
    • Behind the left-side curtains is a set of spiral stairs up to Kubla’s Bedroom.
  • 11. Balcony – Overlooks the Courtyard. A spyglass is present (Grants PCs +1 bonus when searching current or adjacent hexes.)
  • 12. Bedroom – A ratty four-poster bed with threadbare sheets, a shabby wardrobe, and a dressing table with an assortment of items before cracked mirror adorn this chamber.
    • Dommy will be encountered here, either on the bed or in the wardrobe, if not encountered elsewhere. Whether Dommy interacts with the PCs without his owner being present is up to the GM.
    • Bed: Beneath the stained mattress is a leather pouch containing 3d12gp.
    • Wardrobe: Filled with wrinkled outfits and moth-eaten papakha hats. A keyring hangs on the inside of the door (to the Dungeon).
    • Dressing Table: Atop rests a crystal flacon (A Potion of Delusion [Heroism] which Kubla gargles daily), a comb (unused), a hairbrush (unused), and a snow globe.
      • Snow globe: Currently, depicts the town of ⬣ January Junction. Functions like a Crystal Ball but can only scry on the current scene being depicted, which changes whenever the globe is shaken (up to three times per day). The scene is selected from a nearby hex – to generate first roll a d6 for the direction starting north with 1 and going clockwise. Next roll another d6 to figure out how many hexes away from the current hex depicted the scene is (if this goes beyond any established boundary, the globe shows nothing but static snow). The holder of the snow globe knows which direction and roughly how far away the depicted scene is.

⬣ Chilly Creek

A partially frozen and deceptively deep creek, flows southeast from ⬣ Miserable Mountain before cascading over a waterfall and continuing on south, diving the hex in twain.

  • PCs searching for / following tracks will discover a trail of heavy circular prints crossing the icy creek (across now cracked ice) both leading to and from the ⬣ Pumpkin Patches and the Southeast face of ⬣ Miserable Mountain.
  • There are sections of the creek frozen enough to provide a natural means of crossing via an ice bridge, if temporarily.
    • If more than a single person crosses at a time, obvious cracks will appear in the ice, giving a brief warning before the bridge collapses. (Save to avoid being pulled along by the current and swept over the falls in 1d6 rounds.)

Nearby Points of Interest
Southwest: ⬣ Pumpkin Patches
Northwest: ⬣ Miserable Mountain

⬣ Pumpkin Patches

  • Fields of exposed pumpkins and gourds glittering with frost, the primary staple food of the folk of nearby ⬣ January Junction.
  • Numerous unharvested squash have been squashed flat by heavy circular prints.
    • The tracks are from Kubla Kraus riding Klangstomper and lead both from and to ways to ⬣ Chilly Creek and ⬣ January Junction)
  • Some malcontents have constructed a crude effigy of Kubla Kraus out of a scarecrow with a misshaped pumpkin for a head.
    • If a magical silk hat or papakha is placed upon its head, it animates with a very disposition that is very much the opposite of jolly. (use Wood Golem stats)

Nearby Points of Interest
North: ⬣ Miserable Mountain
Northeast: ⬣ January Junction
Southeast: ⬣ Chilly Creek

⬣ January Junction

This modest, once peaceful town has fallen on hard times since the return of Kubla Kraus, as unfortunately even the sturdy walls enclosing January Junction are unable to protect its townsfolk from his despotic rule; he has since taxed its inhabitants out of nearly all their wealth.

Thus the town has reverted to an old custom of bartering with ‘Ice Coins’ during the winter months; an ersatz currency used for trade by the locals who have little to nothing after ‘paying taxes’ to Kubla Kraus. Ice Coins function mostly as physical tokens of goodwill, but also aren’t valuable enough for Kubla to discern or steal. PCs can still purchase goods and services with other means but will only receive Ice Coins exchange, which obviously quickly melt in warmer locales.

Additionally, to uplift their spirits from their dreary lot, the townsfolk also partake in another old custom of exchanging ‘Dream Presents’, where the contents of empty giftboxes are imagined aloud by the recipient, who then expresses joy over it being just what they always wanted (often through song). [There’s 1-in-100 chance desired present comes true (within reason of fitting within a parcel no bigger than a breadbox); otherwise they are empty.]

Notable Inhabitants: A comely, blond-haired, blue-eyed woman named Elise abstains from the festivities, instead spending her time lingering around the town fountain, clutching a dried rose to her chest, and softly beseeching for aid from someone called Jack. If inquired upon, she or someone else will relate that her husband, the golden knight Sir Ravenal Rightfellow, went to confront Kubla Kraus at this castle sometime ago, and it was only just recently she received a missive demanding a ransom for his return: Either 1000gp or her hand in marriage.

  • If the PCs rescue Sir Ravenal, Elise will reward the PCs with a magic pair of silver scissors engraved with the name “Snip” (+1 silvered dagger that once per day casts Resist Cold on wielder when command word “Snip” is spoken), along with a bag of 100gp (all she could gather to pay the ransom for her husband). Sir Ravenal will also bequeath them his magical Shining Sword (provided it was also liberated from the castle).

Nearby Points of Interest
Northeast: ⬣ Miserable Mountain
Southeast: ⬣ Pumpkin Patches

An Aside

It probably isn’t worth mentioning that basing adventures around the Rankin/Bass Christmas specials isn’t entirely new – The Doom That Came to Christmas Town by Goodman Games for Dungeon Crawl Classics obviously comes to my mind. Sometime go I had acquired the DCC Tome of Adventure Vol. 6 Holiday Adventures (which features that particular adventure, amongst others, on the cover no less) from my FLGS, but I had refrained from reading that particular adventure in detail once I decided to do #HeXmas, as to avoid influencing my ideas.

I ended up reading that adventure anyway, chiefly because some of my friends requested I run a holiday one-shot and after taking stock of my library and consulting the interwebs, I decided to go with aforementioned adventure because of the positive reviews, it’s campy tone, and the fact it having pre-gens (to help maximize our play time).

We had a terrific time and I highly recommend this adventure for those looking to run something corny, whimsical, and a bit more self-contained than what we’ve all created for #HeXmas.

Seasons Greetings and Merry #HeXmas!

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